Hey there my readers. It has been a long time since I posted anything on here. I have neglected my writing and keep you all updated with my life and whats happening. Well I have been through some stuff since my last post.
I have been single since 2008. The guy i was with used me. I spent all my money on him and then he was cheating. He thought I wouldnt find out but I did. That was so hurtful that after that happened I was single for two years. I couldnt love. I didnt love. I didnt believe in it anymore.
So now we in 2011. Last year in August I met someone. I knew him for a while. I cared about him since the first time we spoke. We finally met and it was a nice day. We hugged and he kissed me. I felt alive again when his lips touched mines. We went to eat breakfast at Ihop. It was so amazing. He smiled at me and he made me smile back. I wont ever forget it. We started to date and I was the happiest I have ever been in a long time. I swear he made me believe in love again. He went back home (he dont live in NYC) and it hurt so bad. I love him and he left. Now we were still together. The long distance didnt bother me cause I loved him. Everyone asked me how I could do it. I told them cause when you love someone it dont matter the distance.
So he came back this month to visit me. Seeing him made me feel so good inside. This boy captured my heart real quick. 5 months into the relationship and my love for him kept growing. We been chillen everyday since he been back. Now some stuff went down. I dont wanna really get into it. Lets just say I did something that I shouldnt have done but my insecurities got the best of me. He found out what I did and now we are no longer together. It has been a week now since the breakup and I feel so dead sometimes. I feel like this is it. I wont love again.
We chill and we talk and it feels good but it also hurts at the same time. When I see him and those lips that made me love again I feel so weak. I feel like im dying inside. I miss him so much and theres nothing I can do. I still think bout him. I STILL LOVE HIM. I wish everything was different. I have to move on but it is so hard when you love someone. Its hard when the person brought you back from the death of love. Its so hard. I am so sad. I am so over everything. I wanna forget this pain but I cant.
He isnt perfect and I am not perfect. I wish he could give me another chance but he made it clear it aint going down. So all I can do is keep the happy memories. We had a lot of those and I will never forget them. I will never forget him and how he made me laugh, made me smile, made me mad then made me laugh again. He is my LOVE. Oh well theres nothing I can do.....
